DexterWho's Unofficial Guide to Some People Colliding a Rubber Object With Their Feet at a High Velocity for a Human Being, Bearing in Mind That This is Done on an International Scale

Title seems legit.

The World Cup!

I only get into football once every 4 years - now is that time, and because I can't think of anything else to write about this week, here you go. 

I myself am not the greatest at football, and much prefer to watch others doing it. To illustrate what I mean, I have left a highly detailed and physically (Well, pixel-y) large guide as to my ventures in the sport.

Watch out Ronaldo, Dexter's hot on your heels.

Despite my failings in the beautiful game, I do enjoy a good world cup (I don't usually enjoy club games for some reason). Usually I take part in a sweepstake, so maybe it's because there's money involved. Getting to the point, I believe I have come up with a foolproof guide to get you through the summer's ball bashing. 

Iceland are a Bunch of Dentists

You're probably searching for a second meaning or joke in the above statement, but i guarantee there is none. The Icelandic have such a small population that every citizen has a 1/2000 chance of appearing in the world cup. This means that the team is often comprised of people who also do other jobs. For example, you might have heard the pundits say that the goalie in the Iceland - Argentina match also organized the Icelandic 2012 Eurovision entry.

We support Iceland because they are quite good, meaning you can watch dentists and taxi drivers beat the living daylights out of actual professional footballers. This is fun.

Spain and Brazil

We support them because they are my strongest sweepstake teams. 

The Opponents of Spain and Brazil

We do not support them as any one of them could potentially deny me 25 pounds.

The Home Team

I mean, it's difficult to support Russia given their recent sporting history. I'm sure you've all heard of the doping scandal. One should never back a team that are potential cheats. Football and sport in general are all about fair play - this should always be respected, especially at The World Cup, the absolute pinnacle of-

Wait...

What was that?

I've got them in the sweepstake too?

RUSSIA ALL THE WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Your Country's Team

Of course you should support them! Just don't hesitate to switch allegiances if they are losing! But seriously though, good luck to whichever country you are a part of, I'm definitely behind mine this year! I've pretty much discounted winning as a possibility though  Who knows, maybe this is our year. 

How it Works

Okay so there are 22 people on the field and then there are those dudes who sit and do nothing for 85 minutes, swap with someone for 5,  run about a bit, and come off. It's essentially a game about who can dive the best and foul the other team the most. Occasionally someone scores an impressive goal where the ball goes all curvy. Some more fouling. Footballers get very angry at the referee. A few extra minutes of fouling. Then the players go off.

Wow that was cynical.

Interaction

1. We haven't had a comment award in a while! Go for it!

2. Yeah that's it.

-Dexter